Whoa, time flies so fast and I’m now a mom! It won’t be long and I’ll hear someone call me “mommy”, isn’t it sweet? Yes, it is! Sweet as it can be, but the first few days and weeks of motherhood was not that good to me.
It was September 25th when I gave birth to my baby through emergency C-section. Ouch, and now I’m going to live with not only stretch marks on my belly, but also with a vertical scar down there. But that’s okay, it’s all worth it because I will have this lovely little man forever as my son.
My 9 days old baby while at the hospital.
But as someone who’s beauty conscious, I’m now on the hunt for quality products or remedies that will at least lighten my stretch marks and the scar I got from C-section. I’m not going to lie that I was a little sad how my super-stretched belly turns out, especially when I saw it a day after my delivery. Looks like it’s a resemblance of a jackfruit’s skin that day. I’m just glad that it’s getting better and my body is gradually getting back in shape. So, Stretch marks? C-section scar? Hmm, I moved on from that, I don’t feel sad about it anymore, they’re my pregnancy badges in exchange of the precious reward I’ve got from God– my baby!
My baby and his 4D ultrasound photo inside my womb.
Enough with stretch marks and scar talks!
Let’s get back to the reason why I said that the first few days and weeks of motherhood was not that good to me.
I remember how excited I was to bring home my baby while we’re still at the hospital. I’m the happiest! Not until my baby was 5 days old and he had seizures without fever. We brought him to the hospital again. At his very young age, he’s been through a lot of pain already, needles here and there, and laboratory tests including Lumbar Tap(they get a spinal fluid from my baby).
Watching him in pain without knowing the cause of his seizures is tearing me into pieces. If only I can take all the pains he’s been through while at the hospital, I’ll surely take them for myself so he will never be in pain. It’s really heartbreaking. And there’s never a day that I didn’t cry while we’re at the hospital, even until now.. I still can’t help it not to cry whenever my baby’s condition comes to my mind.
After 2 days of bringing home my baby when we were discharged, there we are at the hospital again and stayed there for a week! We know we can’t just sit there and forget what happened to him, even all of his laboratory test results are negative, so we seek for the help of a specialist and was referred to a neurologist. And there, through EEG, we’ve got this heartbreaking result and my baby was diagnosed with focal epilepsy!
It’s really breaking my heart. Seems like I already cried a river. But whenever he smiles at me, he’s making me feel like everything’s okay.. That everything’s gonna be okay.
With exception to his condition, he’s a healthy baby! And as his loving mom, I’ll do everything the best I can for him. I always hope and pray that he’ll get better as he grow up..
